Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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