i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she peed on how many people?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize