Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
honey bunches of taint.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize