I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
