I can tuck mytits in my pants
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
