so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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