he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
