Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
