i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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