my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I smell stomach acid.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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