Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
