Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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