stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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