i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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