ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
