i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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