I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
