Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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