No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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