farters have to be the big spoon...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
