Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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