Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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