so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
