i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
