It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
