My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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