Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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