Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
