Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
