I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
