Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
