dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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