It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
