just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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