I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
