covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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