Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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