best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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