Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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