Im at strip club and am horny
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
