Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
