Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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