sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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