Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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