Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
vagina is talking i cant
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
