so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
