thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude i'm inner monologue high
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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