isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
