I must be too annoying 4 u.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
