I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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